This is copied from my journal of March 2007. It's probably too confusing to add stuff now, another four years later, in bold, but let's have a go
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"going through my diary, i found this bit of writing about mum, and thought i'd share it, partly as
Margi said she wanted to see more stories in my journal, and i think this sort of qualifies - anything in italics i'm adding today as i'm typing it up. i wrote this not long after she died, i don't really know why. a lot of it relates to my dad as well to be honest."
20 random thoughts about my mother
1. She always discouraged me from buying things when there were hundreds on the rack.
I can't decide if she'd have liked primark or not, as she loved a bargain, but would have hated the racks and racks all the same.
She would have loved Bird's Yard, of this I am certain.
2. She would never buy anything if she thought she could make it herself. She'd often say 'I could make that' and go and do just that.
3. She loved a lot of music i did, and when she didn't it was usually for a reason like, 'that sounds too tinny' because it was a dodgy demo of someone I was having to review.
4. She once superglued my brother's hair into dreadlocks
5. She used to help me dye my hair and never batted an eyelid no matter what the colour
6. She was unbelievably bright - if she'd gone to university she would have excelled. She often complained that where she worked she was wasted.
7. Her feet were tiny - a size 3 in fact
8. She always let me make my own mistakes. whilst dad would often say, 'I told you so', mum would never judge before or after the event.
9. She (well and my dad as well) let me listen to stuff no one else's parents would have let them, or had even heard of. I distinctly remember one Christmas giving them a list of really obscure vinyl, and they managed to find a clear 12 inch by revolting cocks (their cover of d'ya think I'm sexy) with baby oil floating in the plastic outer sleeve. I hadn't even asked for that, they just thought I'd like it.
10. Mum always understood boys who are friends aren't necessarily trying to get into your pants, even if I was trying to get into theirs... (e.g. DS - gawd, I haven't thought about him in a long time)
11. She gave me lifts to and from loads of places before I could drive
12. I was allowed to go to concerts and stay out all night a long time before my friends - this is probably because I never betrayed her trust. I never slept around, and I never took hard drugs (of course, I conveniently forgot here that I used to sleep in my car, but there we go)
13. She understood why I don't want to look like everyone else
14. She only ever tried to make me lose weight for my health. I can't remember her ever criticising the way I looked, even when i weighed 24 stone. she'd ALWAYS focus on the effect on my health.
15. She was really sarcastic and dry, but laughed at the most ridiculous things. I will always remember her reaction to Baby's Day Out (she would have LOVED Mousehunt...)
16. I often think she'd like films when I see them. for example she would have loved The prestige
17. She always taught me to get the nasty things out of the way so you can enjoy the nice things. For example, we always cleaned the house on Saturday morning so we could go and shop in the afternoon
18. She made sure I knew how to cook and clean and so on by making me do it. A lot of my friends at uni had no idea how to do anything for themselves, which i found really odd, as I'd always done everything for myself from a young age. I'm really grateful for that every day
19. She would have been totally fine if any of us had been gay. In fact, I think she would have been proud. She often told my brother that she wouldn't mind if he came out as long as he was happy. (He didn't have many girlfriends when he was a teenager)
20. She didn't blink an eye when I rang her from Moulton and asked her to pick me up as TS had thrown me out. She never asked what happened, but I told her anyway. (sorry if you don't know what I'm on about here - I don't know if I've ever talked about it on here except to get morose when I was drunk one evening, and I probably talked about TS in relation to him looking like Richard Beckinsale...)
