Wednesday, 4 April 2012

10 things which make me happy

I wrote this a few years ago, but it makes me happy re-reading it. At the time I was writing a lot for Ciao, and Mum had just died.

10. Finding a bargain

They do say the best things in life are free, but even better is something which is supposed to cost a lot more than you get it for.

For example, today I found a really nice dress in Mk One. It is miles too small yet, but it’ll be perfect for a spring wedding we’re going to next year. It was reduced from £30 to £10, which is tres bargalicious, but when I got it to the till, the assistant said it had been reduced further to £3. Who (apart from most men) could fail to be thrilled at this?

My favourite bargain ever – my orange Austin Allegro which cost £100 when I was 19, and lasted me for about 7 years

9. Cats curling up on my knee

There’s nothing like the feeling of a heavy, furry, warm object on your knee, making a sound like they’re drilling into your leg. It’s so therapeutic stroking them, and I can think of no better way of spending an afternoon than sitting on a big comfy chair, cat on knee, and a good book to read (more later).

My favourite cat ever – it seems unfair to choose between the two we have currently, but it has to be Holly I’m afraid, purely because she’s the fattest, stupidest, most adorable creature I’ve ever had as a pet.

8. Lying in a double bed with Ian

Because of Ian’s disability, at home we have to sleep in separate beds, which isn’t too bad as I snore and like to have the curtains open all night, but can feel a bit lonely. When we go away, we usually get a double room, and it makes going away an even bigger treat. I don’t mean anything rude, by the way, I just mean that feeling of falling asleep with your arm round someone, and waking up and watching SM:TV while you’re both still a bit sleepy. It’s something I bet everyone else takes for granted, but it’s really special to me.

My favourite double bed ever – the one in the Morrison in Dublin where we spent our honeymoon.

7. Being outside

Maybe it’s because I’m from the country, but I love to spend time outside. For the last year or two, I’ve not been so keen, but I’ve really got back into the swing of the great outdoors since I’ve been going for long walks everywhere.

When I was younger, I used to walk everywhere, often for hours at a time. The town where I grew up had no public transport, so it was mostly necessary, but a lot of the time, I walked to think. I spent a lot of time walking along the river, and sitting under bridges writing, and my absolute favourite thing was always walking in the rain. Spalding is very flat too, so I used to cycle a lot. Then I learnt to drive, and it all went a bit tits up – it made me lazy, and I stopped walking and cycling, and just used to drive for miles instead. I was still outside though.

My favourite outdoor place –a little bridge down the road from my childhood house. I used to go and sit with my legs dangling off it, and it was very overgrown so no one ever saw me. I’d listen to music, and read or write for hours, and as I got older I used to sometimes take a boy I knew down there in the hope he’d be overtaken with the romance of it all and ravish me (he never did, well, not there anyway, but that’s another story…)

6. Thinking about the future and remembering the past

As you might have already gathered, I’ve always been a dreamer. I’ve always imagined what the future might be like, drawing outfits I was going to wear when I was older, thinking about who I might marry, writing lists of children’s names. Now I’m in my late twenties, I can also reminisce about the past as well as think about the future, and I can sit and think about either for a long time (usually once I get to where I’m walking and need a sit down).

My favourite memory – I’d love to say it’s one about my Mum, but they don’t make me happy at the minute, so it can’t really go in this category. Instead, the memory which never fails to make me happy, was a night out I once had in Liverpool. A group of four friends and myself took it upon ourselves to dress up before we went out. There was no reason to or anything, we just thought it’d be a laugh (as you do when you’re students). We all had too much to drink, and I started trying to pimp the other four girls off to a bloke at a cash point. Later on, two of them crashed onto the stage of a student ‘Blind Date’ event, telling the girl not to pick number two cause he was ugly as f*ck. I can’t remember ever laughing so much in my life, and although it sounds sad now, it really was the best night out I ever had.

My favourite future dream – it’s a bit obvious, but if I start to think about overeating, I imagine myself wearing a vest top, with my tattoo showing, holding a baby, and it stops me every time.

5. People

I thought about putting my family, or friends, or Ian, into this list, but the reality is that despite sounding like a lonely Billy-no-mates, I actually love to be around people. I find it very hard to dislike people; like my Dad, you’d have to really do something awful for me to not bother with you.

People who always make me happy – obviously, Ian and my family make me happy, that goes without saying, so I’m going to choose Jessica and Grace, my Godchildren, Katie, my oldest friend, and Nicola, my closest friend. I don’t think any of those four have ever made me unhappy.

4. Photographs

This is a wide topic, on purpose, as I couldn’t narrow it into just taking photographs or just looking at them. I don’t mean arty photos either - I mean candid, people grinning, holding the camera at arms length, stiffly posed wedding shots, drunken holiday snaps… basically it follows on from my love of people. I’m actually someone who loves looking at other people’s photos when they bring round their wedding or holiday snaps.
Much to Ian’s chagrin, I have framed photos all over the house, and about 30 albums of actual photographs, as well as a huge box of un-framed and un-albumed photos. Now we have a digital camera, it’s scary how many photos we have on discs and the hard drive, and the fact they don’t cost anything any more means I take even more photos than I did before.

My favourite photograph – Ian's favourite one of me is a wedding one where I’m laughing with my gob very wide open while Ian is smiling at me. I don’t think I could ever choose a favourite ever photograph.

3. Music

There’s not much I can say about this choice, despite it being so enormous, except that if I ever feel unhappy, I can always count on music to cheer me up.

My favourite songs that make me happy –
“Honey Pie” – The Beatles
“Sabotage” – Beastie Boys
“Gin Soaked Boy” – Divine Comedy
“New Sensation” – INXS
“The Man on the Flying Trapeze” – Spike Jonze

hmmm, well, they're all pretty good, but i have to say I can't believe i missed off 'E=MC2' by Big Audio Dynamite, and why no Bowie?

2. Reading

Similarly to the last choice, I can’t say much about this. I just feel very safe whenever I start to read print, and will read almost anything.

My favourite books that make me happy –
The Georgia Nicholson diaries by Louise Rennison
Calvin and Hobbes books
“Gilbert’s Guide to Life” – TV tie in book by Gilbert the Alien
“Notes from a Big Country” – Bill Bryson
Anything involving music trivia

1. Writing

Writing has always been my lifesaver, since I was about 12 years old. It started when Allyson, my school friend, and I bought hard backed A5 notebooks, and started to use them as diaries. Mine sprawled into me writing everything I thought and felt, whilst hers was consigned to the dustbin.

I used to fill one of these books every year, usually with mindless rambling about what I was going to do when I was older, who I fancied, and how I was going to lose a stone and have a holiday romance. I started writing short stories when I was about 14, fuelled by a teacher at school who always gave me good marks, but used to ask me after class if my home-life was okay – my stories usually involved teenagers committing suicide or being raped, and parents fighting or killing each other.

Once I left home, I continued to write daily, and it really saved me when I was trying to decide how I felt about Ian, and how I felt about what I was doing to myself. I also started producing my own fanzines, which had my writing and poetry as well as reviews and interviews I’d done, and cartoons I’d drawn. There’s no wonder I didn’t do better in my degree when I remember how much time I spent writing and drawing unrelated stuff.

Then, when I moved in with Ian, I decided to leave my past behind, and burned all my hard backed notebooks in a ceremonial fire. I really regret this now, but there’s no point in crying over burnt pages. At least I kept all my fanzines, a lot of which have bits taken from my notebooks. After that my writing slowed down to the occasional stab at finishing my novel, but mainly writing lots of lists, which is a bit of an obsession of mine.

So, now I use writing online to help me deal with stuff that’s going on – some of it ends up on Ciao or Live Journal, and some doesn’t, but it all helps to keep me on an even keel – writing does more than makes me happy, it stops me from going barmy. 

The best thing I’ve ever written – I once actually published a novella, and even though it wasn’t very good, I’m pretty darn proud of that, especially as it got a few good reviews in other fanzines. It was called ‘Speeding Life’ and was a sort of sci-fi thing. Unfortunately, the story was slightly similar to The Lawnmower Man, even though I never read it or saw the film, and as such some people accused me of ripping it off. Oh well.

Most of this is still true. I can't believe I wasn't making stuff at this point, then again, writing was a creative outlet.

1 comment:

  1. postingan yang bagus tentang"10 things which make me happy "